Last year ended with yet another tragedy in the K-pop world:
on December 18th, SHINee's Kim Jonghyun committed suicide at the age of 27.
What made his death stand out from the Ladies Code accident three years before
was that Jonghyun and his group were household names that had been in the music
industry for almost ten years - everyone knew who he was when he was still
alive. I haven't really addressed this incident before, but since it's been a
year, I thought I should share about how Jonghyun's passing affected me and how
it puts a spotlight on the stressors of life in Korea.
I don't follow SHINee's activities too much, and I'd go as
far as to say that Jonghyun was possibly the only member who I wasn't really
attracted to, but it's still really sad that this talented and influential
young man took his own life. When I found out, I surprisingly didn't cry, but I
was numb for the whole day. I literally felt sick to my stomach imagining what
could've been going on during the last moments of Jonghyun's life. While some
of my K-pop-loving friends and I did bring it up a few times in our
conversations, I actively avoided all K-pop sites and even YouTube for at least
a month after the tragedy - it was all too depressing for me.
It was known that Jonghyun had battled depression throughout
his life and was even open about it in public, but simply speaking out about
his problems wasn't enough. Suicide and depression are common problems all over
the world and especially in Korea, where mental health issues are so taboo that
any struggles are viewed as a sign of weakness. If you were following the
Hallyu wave around 2008-2009, you might know that there were a lot of celebrity
suicides during that period as well. Instead of seeking help, people are told
to just "deal with it" or "get over it", hiding their
difficulties out of shame until they can't deal with them anymore. Young people
might commit suicide due to stress from school, while the elderly may want to
end their lives to avoid "burdening" their families.
Even in my own life, there are people close to me who live
with depression, and it debilitates them to varying degrees. There are moments
when I wonder whether I myself display any symptoms of depression. I tend to be
extremely critical of myself whenever I make a mistake, to the point that I
feel the urge to hurt myself. I've never had good control over my emotions, and
I deal with a severe lack of confidence for many tasks. I still don't fully
understand depression or other mental health disorders, which is why, as a
psychology student, I hope to learn more about them so that I can ultimately
help and support people with these conditions.
I'm so glad SHINee is still doing so well after their loss.
As an SM group heading into their tenth anniversary this year, they came back
in full force less than half a year after Jonghyun's passing with a whopping
four title tracks. It definitely must have been stressful and bittersweet for
the remaining four members, but they've remained positive, using music and
their various other activities as outlets for their grief. I'm especially proud
of Onew for dealing with his scandal in stride and maknae Taemin for taking
over the main vocal position.
Of course, the pain and impact of Jonghyun's death will never
completely fade from the K-pop community. I've taken to listening to a few of
his solo singles, especially "Lonely", which skyrocketed up the
charts soon after his passing, and I'm starting to appreciate his unique voice
and melancholy lyrical content more. His posthumous release was a nice farewell
touch for fans who wanted to listen to him one last time, and I'm happy he's
being commemorated for his life, not just his death. Although Jonghyun's life
was too short, hopefully his contributions to Korean music and pop culture will
be remembered for a long time to come.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, I just
want to let you know that you’re not alone. Depending on which country you live
in, you can call any of these numbers above.
