VIXX in Vancouver - My First K-pop Concert

So I just came back from the VIXX concert in Vancouver. I have school tomorrow, so thankfully the concert was in a convenient location for me.

When they came out on the stage for the first time, I could only recognize Ken from a distance, since his features stood out the most. They started off with Fantasy, and then went with Chained Up, but after the third song we were all asked to put our phones and cameras away and just enjoy the show. I managed to get a few okay shots of them.

Hyuk showed off the best English, but all of them needed a translator. Points to all of them for trying and improving on their English skills. 

Hongbin's speaking voice is so deep (not like Wonwoo deep but you get the idea), you wouldn't expect it from a flower boy like him. 

Leo and Ken's high notes live were legendary. 

There was such a contrast between their dark, edgy, and charismatic dances and their real personalities. In the middle of the concert, they brought out some chairs and asked each other to do some challenges requested by Canadian fans. Ken started singing the ABC song, both him and N got to show off their vocals in musical-style, Hongbin died a little inside when he had to do some aegyo, N and Ravi had a staring contest, N was about to fight Ravi, and Ravi lost and had to do the "oppa-ya" dance. Also, Leo had to write his fellow members' names with his... belly button? He also died a bit inside.

Fun fact: my mom dubbed N "mouse boyfriend". Apparently he resembles a mouse?

There was SO. MUCH. SCREAMING. OH MY GOD. Sometimes, someone in the audience would yell out "I love you!" and N or whoever heard the comment would go like, "I love you too!" Those people were lucky. I tried, but I don't think they heard me. I think I lost some of my hearing after this. 

At the end, we all got to stand up and dance, and it really brought all of us together. 

Now, the part I unintentionally spent extra moolah on: the hi-touch. I was hyped to actually be touching VIXX, especially my biases N and Hongbin. It went by wayyyy too quickly, unfortunately, and I think they've forgotten me already. 

Leo looks a lot less scary up close. Ravi also looked soft. I kinda whizzed by Ken, Hyuk, and unfortunately Hongbin before I reached N at the end, although I do remember Hongbin and Hyuk being good-looking and gentle in person. The only things I had time to say to all of them were "good job" and "thank you", but once I got to N, I randomly blurted, "I like you!" I don't think he heard me though. My hand is still trembling from his high-five, though. 

Also, they're not as intimidatingly tall as I thought they were. Then again, I didn't really have time to check. 

Now every time I look at or hear VIXX now I'm going to remember this concert and remember their faces when they hi-fived me, it was just such an unforgettable experience 

TL;DR as a broke college student, spending $250-something to high-five VIXX for 1 second each as my first K-pop concert was definitely worth it. 

Why I like K-pop idols, but hate the idol culture

“Thou shalt not worship false idols”  - Exodus 20:4

As a Christian, I often wonder if my love for K-pop is contradictory to my faith. After all, K-pop idols are called as such for a reason. They are admired and basically worshipped by fans who spend all their time following them and their activities, and seen as people who cannot do any wrong until a controversy happens. Many undergo strict diets, excessive exercise, and even plastic surgery in order to look “perfect”, and are required to act in certain ways to please their fans. However, having all these expectations placed on them by others, and subsequently failing to meet these expectations, means that there is a large burden for these celebrities. I don’t even like using the term “idols” for these people because of this connotation.

I’m nowhere near famous or even popular, but I know what it feels like to be idolized. I know what it feels like to be the centre of someone’s life to the point that I’m all that they care about. I know what it’s like to act contrary to my true nature in order to not disappoint the ones I love and to fulfill their wishes for me. That’s why the stressful life of K-pop stars has become so much more relatable to me now, especially when they speak out – sometimes emotionally - about any issues and negative thoughts they’ve experienced, and any lessons they’ve learned being in the idol industry.

Like many, I got completely hooked onto Produce 101 earlier this year (making the mistake of spending more time and attention following the show than growing in my faith), and found myself falling in love with all the boys’ personalities. For some of the contestants, I started stanning them because I thought, “hey, they would make pretty good friends if I actually knew them”, making them seem so much more human to me. However, I had to think whenever they desperately cried out, “I want to be an idol”. Were they prepared to be basically worshipped and swarmed by crazy fangirls, every action only for the entertainment of others? Were they prepared to have people devote their entire life to them? For example, I’m pretty sure Kang Daniel is Christian, but he expressed the wish to be known as “God Daniel”, and now his fans basically worship him and everything he does. (Kang Daniel, if you ever find this, I’m not intending to hate on you and I’m sorry if it’s coming across this way. I like you too! I just wanted to point this out as an example.)

I had to put everything into perspective again when I found out that one of my former high school classmates is debuting as an idol later this year. Now naturally, my fangirl self was delighted that I actually knew a Korean celebrity, and to this day I’m hyped for everything that he has to show the world. However, I can’t help but worry for him, for his life once he debuts. This particular soon-to-be idol is a Christian as well, and he will likely find himself tempted to forget about the real reason why he entered this industry, which I can predict is to use his talent and passion for music to glorify God. Already, fansites dedicated to him have popped up, and it still shocks me that total strangers fawn over him more than his former friends and classmates do. For me, this is a good example of an idol being “just like the rest of us”. Having known this guy for five years, he is very human to me, and I can’t imagine how he’ll feel knowing that people may start swarming him, invading his privacy and – God forbid – endangering his safety, just because they adore him so much.  

Several K-pop artists identify as Christian, but very few have actually been outspoken about what their faith means to them as an entertainer, as an idol (for example, I really miss Siwon’s inspirational posts). I hope and pray that fans and idols alike will recognize that idols are, really, just like the rest of us, and that ultimately, they can’t be God for other people. Even when I pray to God for Him to do something, He does something else that I might not like at first. So if even the LORD doesn’t fulfill our desires all the time – or at least not in the way we want Him too – why should human beings feel obligated to do so for the satisfaction of others? 

April 16th: The Anniversary of a National Tragedy

*Very serious post ahead*

April 16^th is considered one of the saddest days in modern Korean history, as on that day three years ago, the Sewol ferry sank, killing almost 300 high school students around ages 16-17 from Danwon High School who were on a school trip. Now, I’m not Korean myself so you may be wondering what business I have writing about this tragic event. Well, being a K-pop and Running Man fan, I was still affected by the complete shutdown of the entertainment industry during that month or so. With time, I understood why the release of EXO’s new song or the latest Running Man episode was postponed for so long.

Every year on April 16^th, Koreans will post something along the lines of “잊지안겠습니다” or “I will not forget” to remember this disaster that took so many lives. Meditating on those words, they are similar to “Never forget 9/11”, which was an even bigger tragedy with almost 10 times more casualties, possibly the most well-known and devastating of all modern-day tragedies. Every time an event like this happens or the anniversary passes, I’m left wondering, “How will people ever move past this?”

From what I know about the Sewol sinking and its aftermath, the parents of the deceased students are still deeply affected by their losses. The ship was recently salvaged from the waters and brought onto land for investigation, which forced these parents to relive the grief they felt when they learned that their children were gone forever. There was also a lot of anger as most of these deaths could have been prevented if not for the crew’s commands for the students to stay on the ship as it sank. I’d read that some parents had even committed suicide because they couldn’t live without their children. 

These are just two of the 300 or so students who died in the Sewol sinking.

I don’t know much about the process of grief either, having rarely experienced it throughout my life, but I do know that everyone experiences it differently, and it will take varying amounts of time for each individual to come to terms with their loss(es). I’ve often thought of mourning as crying constantly every day, remaining solemn and silent, and refraining from happy thoughts and activities as those are disrespectful to the dead. This impression was reflected in the South Korean entertainment industry following the sinking, as TVs cancelled drama and music video showings to broadcast updates about the Sewol 24/7. I questioned even watching reruns of Running Man or talking about anything happy during that time, and wondered if it was unacceptable to immerse oneself in an enjoyable activity in order to escape, even for just a moment, the horrible reality of the world, when an entire nation that I’d invested myself into was in mourning.

Thankfully, after that somber first month after the sinking, South Korea slowly picked itself up and moved forward. In lieu of filming shows, celebrities used their wealth and influence to donate to those affected. Songs, drama episodes, and reality shows were finally released, much to fans’ anticipation. There were even several music videos that made direct or indirect reference to Sewol, with The Ark’s “The Light” being the most blatant example. Recently, even BTS’s “Spring Day” is said to address the event. 

The MV for "The Light", released in 2015, pays homage to the victims of the accident.

Of course, South Korea will never forget this heartbreaking day. I too will never forget that there were 300 students around my age whose hopes and dreams ended on that cold April 16th, 2014. Three years isn’t actually that long when put into perspective, so the memory is still fresh in many people’s minds. But while most of us never knew these students personally, we must not only remember the sadness and unfairness of their deaths, but also remember the joy that they exuberated and their legacies. We should acknowledge that our hearts hurt and that they might never fully heal, but at the same time we should live with gratitude, contentment, and youthful abandon, to honour those dreams that were never fulfilled.